Jun 2, 2014

#50FactsAboutMe

This I saw was trending about on Twitter so I decided I'll do a blog post over #50factsaboutme and see if I can come up with 50. So here we go.


#1. I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA
#2. I speak more than 2 languages, been learning French, German, and Spanish
#3. I'm an only child
#4. My first real concert was Backstreet Boy
#5. I was an extra in many films but the top one was Fan Boys 2006 which is where I met Kristen Bell
#6. I grew up watching Days Of Our Lives, Passions, & OLTL then on to General Hospital
#7. My first pet was my cat I named Sassy who I still have
#8. I got crabs for a birthday gift from my Grandmother one year
#9. I broke my right wrist while rollerblading in front of my house
#10. I was bit on my eye by a Chow named Ginger which lead to eye surgery
#11. I under went under major brain surgery June 1, 2010
#12. I met almost the complete cast of One Life To Live
#13. I'm a huge fanatic of Charmed, One Tree Hill, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, CSI Miami, All crime scene shows like those, Seventh Heaven, Smallville, 90's & early 2000's kids shows and many more
#14. Favorite bands from the 90's Britany Spears, Nsync, Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, Selena, Billy Ocean, Savage Garden, Enrique Iglesias, Mariah Carey, 98 Degrees
#15. I have had 9 surgeries total in my life although I'm suppose to have 2 other kinds of surgeries but I've been putting them off because I'm terrified of going under the knife since I had brain surgery
#16. My Aunt is four years 4 months older than I am
#17. I grew up in a single parent house hold with the help of my Grandmother
#18. I own Rats, Rabbits, Mice, Lizard, Cats, Dogs & Hamsters
#19. I have English, French , Canadian French, African American, Irish,Scottish, German, Gaelic, Panamanian, Cherokee Indian, Latina, Welsh, Jewish American-Israeli, Finnish, Dutch, Italian in me so far that I know of
#20. I'm a reborn again Christian
#21. I've been baptized three times in my life, once as a young child, once as a teen and last as a young adult
#22. I'm a descendant from Kuntz Conrad Brecht, he is my 11th Great Grandfather from Germany
#23. I published my first Poetry in 2013 Believe In me
#24. I have natural brunette curly thick hair
#25. I have to very light colored birth marks one on my middle right finger and another on my right thigh
#26. Had my first seizure & died and was revived on May 25, 2000
#27. My favorite animal is Cats
#28. I'm a fan of Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers
#30. I use to like Taylor Swift but now I can't stand her
#31. Top songs I listen to right now is Overcomer by Mandisa, God's Not Dead by NewsBoys, all the songs from Let It Shine, Songs by Bethany Joy Lenz, & Everly
#32. I have a God son who is in Heaven
#33. I love hats
#34. I love antiques, old vintage everything
#35. I play the Piano/Keyboard
#36. My favorite stuffed animal as a kid was a orange/white tabby cat I named Kitty who I still have
#37. I am a huge Sims world game player
#38. I've been drawing since age 2
#39. I favorite subjects in school were, Drama, Art, Psychology, English & History
#40. Worst liked subjects Math, Science, & P.E
#41. Played basketball through out middle & high school
#42. Changed my name legally by adding in the middle name Ann because my Great Grandma, Grandma & Mom has the same middle name, I wanted to carry on that name
#43. Moved to Texas at age 15 to live with my Great Grandma & Grandma
#44. Attended high school at Cypress Creek High School with Jon Cozart who is famous for his videos on YouTube channel Paint
#45. All my pets are named after people, animals from movies or TV, states of which they came, mountains, Famous people or characters from tv or movies.. they all having meaning for their names
#46. Played on the ping pong team in Highs school
#47. Was teased in school for my name being Brittaney so I was always called Britany Spears growing up
#48. I'm on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Shots, Tumblr, Youtube, Myspace
#49. I haven't seen my Father since I was 9 years old and his family since I was 8, & younger..
#50. I am the admin of Tree Hill Family, Melissa Archer Fan Site on Facebook

Hope y'all enjoy this

May 31, 2014

June First

It's Saturday morning in the Month of May.
Was waking up to what I thought was a good day.
Until a blast took place in the back of my head.
It was as if a bomb blew up and I thought oh no.
This isn't normal, blurry vision, bomb like headache, feeling sick.
I knew it couldn't be normal.

I grabbed my cell and gave my Ma' a call.
Telling her something's wrong, you need to get back here now.
I fell to my knees in tears knowing this could be it.
I pulled myself up walking to the shower and just stood in it for relief but
there was no such hope.

I was so weak, I wasn't me.
I gave in and tears cam rolling down the sides of my cheeks.
I was in so much pain, my Ma' asked do you want to go see the Doc?
I knew I needed to but I was so weak, couldn't move or walk so all
I did was stumble to the car door with the help of my Ma's hand and me leaning
on her to carry me.

I got to see the Doc, they wanted to give me a shot.
Unable to really speak I mumbled and asked where?
He said it'd be best in the buttocks.
I lifted my head with my eyes wide open with an angry pale face
and stuttered two words, Hell No, can't you give it to me in my arm?
We can it just will take longer, I say that's okay.

They go then come back and say nope it can't be done in the arm has to be done
down there. I again stutter Hell No, give me pills. They did and so I went my way.
Hours passed, no change, no relief, so out of it. My Grandmother asked had I ever felt like this
before? I nodded no, she said I bet your hemorrhaging.
You need to go to the hospital and we did, unable to walk, talk, see, function leaning
on my Ma to carry me. I collapsed, so weak, tears in my eyes and think why, God why me?

They ran many tests, had me doped up on morphine. That was finally some relief from the pain in my head. The worst felt pain was yet to come. The Doc came in looked at me with that face, you know, bad news. I wasn't expecting the words I'd hear next. My heart was racing, pounding, I was scared, nervous, knowing what may come next I needed God, I needed him then more than ever.
The words flew out of his mouth your bleeding in the brain caused by an AVM.
You'll need to have surgery because if not you'll die. We're having you air transferred to Children's Memorial Herman Hospital, my heart was then ripped from my chest!

I busted into tears, horrified my life flashed before my very eyes, seeing the good and bad I'd done,
things I may never get to do in life such as have a family, kids, my dream job, never see my loved ones again friends, family, my beloved pets and even my favorite actresses. My life leaguered between life and death. Riding in the air craft wasn't all that bad because the medics were looking fine, and had me doped up on laughing gas.

Arriving at the hospital they rolled me to the ICU where the most serious cases were. They ran more tests. Four surgeons, many nurses working as one to benefit me, that was pretty sweet. What kept me calm was the fact they were all good looking, and I had the one thing I called my best friend since I was a young child a orange/white tabby stuffed animal named Kitty and holding on to my Ma's hand tightly.

A surgeon came in and explained that there was three different surgical ways they could remove the AVM. The first going through the nasal to the back of the brain, second going through the groin of the thigh or third craniotomy going through the actual head to clip the AVM. I again fell weak and in fear yelled Hell No, I won't let you. Let's say at the time I became a bad patient.

Unable to eat or drink I was numb, pale, scared, hurt, angry. I wasn't so much angry with those that were trying to help me but more because I felt like God had left me, didn't love or care for me. I blamed him for what was happening.

Sunday a day in may just another day of tests, being poked in my hands and arms left many bruises. Was finally able to eat so I sent my mom out to get me some subway because they had to go back to the house to get stuff anyways. My Aunt stayed with me, got some ice cream sandwiches for me and her, we ate and talked. Then the unexpected happened again, I fell weak worse than before grabbing
my head and yelled get a Doc or someone please! Strong tears pored from my eyes like a river, they didn't come at first, my Aunt yelled at them and said no something is wrong come now with fear, and anger in her voice.

I was ice cold which I knew I was an inch away from death, they did a brain scan and being so weak and out of it I heard a nurse say she just might need to have surgery tonight meant it was a second bad bleed. My Ma, Grandmother came back up and my Ma tore into zillions of pieces fearing the worse for my life. She grabbed my hand and I said to her please don't get rid of my cats, I love you Mommy and the last words I said to my Aunt was work things out with Grandma.

They then rolled me back to surgery which wouldn't be my last but the first of many. Pressure of the bleed which wasn't caused by the first but second was causing the blood to drain down my spine which could make me go blind, paralyzed, comatose or die. They drilled holes into the top of my skull, placed tubes in and let the over flowing blood drain out.

Then following two more surgeries both through the groin in my thigh. Being so out of it I dreamed two dreams. The first being me laying in a hospital bed in a soap opera acting out a scene. The next was me trying to find a place to sleep while seeing different kinds of monster like things.  I even saw a familiar soul, she wasn't a person within the flesh but rather an angel. I knew who she was, I saw her. Felt nothing but love, hope, peace all those things. I waved and smiled big, no one would of expected who it was. She was my Aunt Mary who hadn't passed even a year prior. She was watching over me, the funny thing though the night she passed she came to me and touched my head way before all this. She was one of probably many angels who watched over me.

First day of June the sky was blue. Then came that day June First. I laid in preparation for surgery, being out of it but still able to hear. I heard the shaver that which was used to shave the part of my head they'd be cutting into. When it was done I was put on life support, asked them by writing in the palm of my Ma's had to restrain my wrists so I wouldn't pull out the tube. They did, being bed bound I had a catheter, my head was wrapped with white cloth. I was in and out of it for three days post op. Able to still hear, I heard my grandmother ask do you know what today is? It's grandma's birthday. They tried to show me some stuffed animals they had got me and some other stuff. A singing Chihuahua, 2 Bears one a doc & nurse that sing and a Memorial bear that sings Proud to be an American in honor of Memorial weekend because it was around that time all this took place. I didn't care I was to out of it to see it.

They soon came into test my memory by asking me all kinds of questions knowing I'd be able to answer some but not others. I struggled with it at first but got through it. It was a hazy memory after major brain surgery. Days later I was me again but a new better version of me. We were told of a girl that was 10 years that died of the same thing I had, I fell sad. I wanted to so much reach out to her family but knew I couldn't. We were also told of those with AVM's like mine don't know they have it until they are gone which is 99% of people, it can cause seizures which I had been suffering from for many years which was the likely cause by the AVM being the source. I was soon released to go home, they stitched up my inner arm with a needle and thread that will disappear on it's own over time. Came home lucky to have no major side effects from the surgery but with a little bit of memory haze and loss of eye sight in my left eye which was where the AVM was.

There isn't more than to say I'm a living breathing miracle, fighter, survivor. There was this young black boy about my age at the time who went up to my Ma and Grandmother, said I'm going to call my mom she is a pastor, I'll ask her to pray for your daughter. My Ma talked to the boys mother. My Ma stood in shock, and thought he must be an angel and even maybe my guardian angel, who would do that? I then lived to see Seventeen on June Sixteenth also the day I had the stitch's removed from my head.

Soon was home, lived to tell my story and say God is real, Miracle are real. God gave me a second chance. Believe in the almighty one and through him you shall see change, miracles be lined, feel the presents of his holy spirit and sing glory to God's holy name and his son Jesus Christ the king of kings, Father of all his children. I don't weep, I smile and sing, my king is here with me, I close my eyes and say goodnight.

May 26, 2014

God's Not Dead

 
Today I went with some family to see one of my new favorite Christian Films called "God's NOT' Dead", which is based on a freshman college student taking a philosophy course and his professor is what we call an Atheist to whom is one that is a non-believer in God's existence and to whom created the world. The student vs. professor in a debate to prove the Existence and Non-Existence of God in a 3 week course. Now as we know today most Philosopher's, Scientist's, Poet's, Author's and even some Surgeon's don't believe in the existence of God. Most people that are atheist's now were once Christians but you may ask why did they change, why did they walk away? Well truly it's because in most cases something tragic happen to them in their lives. So it's simply easy to say God doesn't exist but how can one be an atheist and hate a such God when they them selves don't believe in him? It's like this we can't prove or not prove God exist, it's more of having a choice, looking at the world and ask yourself who did create the world? who created me? It's a matter of believing in something much greater and grander than the eyes can see, the ears can hear, the voice to speak. Something that we all want to seek but truly we have it already, God says love me as I have always loved you. God simply let's us have the choice to believe in him or not to believe in him. Yes great tragic events happen that shouldn't and people upon people daily ask God why did you let this happen? God simply again let's us have choices, and yes we sin we all do. One man isn't  better than the other, we are all simply equal by sin, flesh, life, choices. Those that do believe give everything to God, and those that don't just simply won't know him. Those that walk with God will live with God in his Kingdom and those that don't will simply be casted out and thrown down to Hell. God doesn't push anyone away, he wants everyone to come to him than run from him. God wants you as he wants me.

There is the Bible for a purpose that is the key to unlocking the truth of something much greater than what we see. The Bible was written by Jesus's people those that followed him when he was here on earth, they saw the true miracle that only God can do, but anyone can do just as he did with having faith and believing. for example Jesus called Peter and said Come, Peter got out of the boat and walked on water but for a second he doubted and he fell into the water and Jesus asked why do you have such little faith? so that simply tells you anything is possible with God as long as you believe, and have faith in God. A lot people that read the bible just simply read it as if it was like any other book and that's why a lot of people including myself don't really know the Bible that well, but for those that truly want to know God they don't just read the Bible once or twice they study it over and over again. Those that do that know the Bible every verse, location of that verse and the meaning of it as well. That is amazing and I hope I can be like that as well. So I don't say that we can prove or not prove God is real but it's more of just putting your faith, love, heart, and beliefs in to something that we can't see. I am proud to say I am a Christian and yes I fail, I sin but yet God still loves me as he also forgives me for those that I have done wrong, sins.

For most some sins are hard to repent from which means to turn away from doing that same action which is sins, we sin no matter what we do, say or live by. Sins are small, medium and big they all come in all sizes but I say this not one sin is greater or worse than the next. They are equal, and that even includes murder, rape, theft, and the miner ones lying, porn, cheating, cursing, not honoring your parents, and simply obeying the commandments God set in place before us to follow. Not one single man can follow every commandment with out sinning, only Jesus could do that.

That's the best part though we sin and sin over and over and yet there is every ounce of forgiveness from God if you believe, have faith and admit your sins, fails, faults and repent from them and he Jesus who died for everyone of our sins can save you for he died for you and I our sins so we can be forgiven to live in his Kingdom with him. Yes we may act on the same sins and we may keep asking for forgiveness for that sin over and over again but God still forgives you, he loves you and wants you.

So this film is a film that those that don't believe in God can go see and even those that do believe can go see it. It's a film to let everyone know you have choices, you can believe, you can know God.

Believe or not believe that is your choice because God gave you the possibility to choose. God said the only way to enter in to my Father Kingdom is through me, referring to believing in Jesus Christ the Son and that you can if you do.

God loves you "God's NOT Dead"

Day Two, Watched The Bible Series

 
This evening My mom and I watch The Bible mini series on DVD, the stories we watch that is based from the Bible. Daniel who was thrown into the dungeon to be fed to the lions. Daniel although survived the lions because of his faith in God. God protected Daniel from being eaten by the lions and that just proves if you have strong faith in God he will protect you from any kind of danger that your faced with in life. Having faith in God is believing in God and that all things are possible.

Another story we watched from the Bible series is based on the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ born of a virgin mother named Mary who was set to marry a man named Joseph. This story from the Bible series has now been put up onto the big screen into a film called "Son Of God" which we also saw in theaters two weeks ago. The story takes us through the entire life of Jesus from the time he was born to the time he rose again. It shows us the time line of what Jesus went through down here on earth with who he decided to call his disciple's starting with Simon Peter & his brother Andrew the fisherman, Bartholomew, James the elder brother of John the Apostle, James the lesser brother of Jude the Apostle, Judas to whom was the one that betrayed Jesus to the Romans, Matthew the tax collector, Philip, Simon, Thomas, and even some say Mary Magdalene was a follower of Jesus through his time on earth but she being considered one of the disciples is a debate of today, but we do know she was one of the few to kneel at the feet of Jesus Christ at the time of his death on the Cross. It shows us the teachings of Jesus, the miracles he performed on those that were sick, paralyzed, blind, and diseased, he traveled far and near preaching the teachings of his Father God and to whom ever believes in me shall reign in my father kingdom with me for I am the only way to enter into my fathers kingdom. It shows us how Jesus was treated by those that didn't believe in him such as the Romans, they smut on him, beat him, mocked him and his father, made a crown of thorns and placed it on his head, made him carry his own cross and nailed him to it as well as making a sign saying        " King of the Jews"or something close to that. Jesus said on the cross "Father forgive them for they not know what they do", "Father why do you forsaken me". Jesus laid in a tomb for 3 days  and rose on that third day, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb where Jesus laid and she saw that the rock that closed the tomb had been moved, then Jesus said Mary why do you have such little faith? then Mary at time realized it was Jesus. He said go tell the others and she did. They didn't believe her so Mary said come with me to the tomb and I'll show you. Peter went with Mary and he saw for himself the news was true, then he himself saw Jesus has rose. So for the next 40 days Jesus continued his teachings and on the fortieth day he rose into the clouds and he said to his disciples go out and tell others about me make for yourself disciples so they can also know of me, and they did and here today there are over one million Christ followers world wide and even some that are coming to him right now. Jesus said any who that comes to me shall enter into my Father's Kingdom. This just shows that God is real and that Jesus Christ is the Messiah the one sent down to save his people and free us of all our sins so that we can reign with him in Heaven forever.

Believe in Jesus Christ


The Bible talks about "Anger", rid of your anger to be more like Jesus if not Evil has won you over.

 
Yesterday I got angry so I decided to look in the Bible and see where it talks about the concept of "ANGER", because everyone feels anger. Anger can be a substitute to many emotions that relate to the term Anger. A few of those emotions that are related to Anger- annoyed, irritated, hate, avoidance, and many more and some ways people act on their anger is lashing out at others, fighting, arguing, hitting something, and just expressing that emotion on their face and how they present their body language.

People react differently when their angry, some people are so angry they break down into tears, they want to fight someone, hit someone or something, do something really stupid, yelling, throwing things across the room, arguing and even doing something as serious as shooting someone doing outrageous things. Those are some ways people act on their anger. How can we focus our anger on something positive? How can we release that anger with out hurting someone or something of value?

I'll walk you through ways you can release your anger in a safe positive way with out harming yourself or others because even these techniques have worked for me and then I'll explain what the Bible says about anger.

Things you can do to release anger safely-
1. Go into a quite room by yourself and do something you enjoy that will help you focus on that and it calms you, it can be listening to music, drawing, playing the guitar, playing a computer game or a game in general, writing your feelings out on paper, writing poetry or songs, reading, watching TV or a movie of your choice, and even dancing among other things you can do inside.

2. Things you can do outside to refocus your anger on playing basketball, throwing around a football, running, skateboarding, anything that will get you active.

3. Talk to someone a friend or close family member in a soft calm manner

4.  Take a nap, let helps calm your mind and body and releases all that negative thoughts & feelings you have built up inside and you will wake up refreshed

5. Exercise doing push up's, jumping jacks, sit ups, jogging in place, these active movements can be done inside and or outside.

there are many ways one can release anger in a safe way just have to find what works for you. For me when I'm angry I listen to music, I draw, Write, Watch Netflix, play a game I enjoy, I take a nap, I play basketball, I walk, I read, I skateboard. Those are things I have found that work for me.

Now the Bible says about Anger-

A gift in secret pacifies and turns away anger, and a bribe in the lap, strong wrath.
Proverbs 21:14

Scriptures on Anger Bar



A man of wrath stirs up strife, and a man given to anger commits and causes much transgression. Proverbs 29:22


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The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and plenteous in mercy and loving-kindness. He will not always chide or be contending, neither will He keep His anger forever or hold a grudge. Psalm 103: 8-9


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For God's [holy] wrath and indignation are revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who in their wickedness repress and hinder the truth and make it inoperative. Romans 1: 18


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Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools. Ecclesiastes 7:9


Scriptures on Anger Bar


The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and abounding in mercy and loving-kindness. Psalm 145: 8


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Cease from anger and forsake wrath; fret not yourself--it tends only to evildoing.Psalm 37: 8(NKJV)


Scriptures on Anger Bar


But now put away and rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, bad feeling toward others, curses and slander, and foulmouthed abuse and shameful utterances from your lips! Colossains 3: 8


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A SOFT answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.Proverbs 15: 1


Scriptures on Anger Bar


He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, he who rules his [own] spirit than he who takes a city. Proverbs 16: 32


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Good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense. Proverbs 19: 11(NKJV)


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The king's wrath is as terrifying as the roaring of a lion, but his favor is as [refreshing as] dew upon the grass.Proverbs 19: 12(NKJV)


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But I say to you that everyone who continues to be angry with his brother or harbors malice (enmity of heart) against him shall be liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the court; and whoever speaks contemptuously and insultingly to his brother shall be liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, You cursed fool! [You empty-headed idiot!] shall be liable to and unable to escape the hell (Gehenna) of fire.Matthew 5:22


Scriptures on Anger Bar


Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind). And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32


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For His anger is but for a moment, but His favor is for a lifetime or in His favor is life. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30: 5


Scriptures on Anger Bar


A [self-confident] fool utters all his anger, but a wise man holds it back and stills it. Proverbs 29: 11


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When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].Ephesians 4: 26-27


Scriptures on Anger Bar


It is better to dwell in a desert land than with a contentious woman and with vexation. Proverbs 21: 19


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Wrath is cruel and anger is an overwhelming flood, but who is able to stand before jealousy? Proverbs 27: 4


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For man's anger does not promote the righteousness God [wishes and requires]. James 1: 20


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I desire therefore that in every place men should pray, without anger or quarreling or resentment or doubt [in their minds], lifting up holy hands. 1 Timothy 2: 8


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[Motivated] by faith he left Egypt behind him, being unawed and undismayed by the wrath of the king; for he never flinched but held staunchly to his purpose and endured steadfastly as one who gazed on Him Who is invisible. Hebrews 11: 27


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For a bishop must be blameless, as a steward of God, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money. Titus 1: 7 (NKJV)


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THEN I saw another wonder (sign, token, symbol) in heaven, great and marvelous [warning of events of ominous significance]: There were seven angels bringing seven plagues (afflictions, calamities), which are the last, for with them God's wrath (indignation) is completely expressed [reaches its climax and is ended]. Revelation 15: 1


Scriptures on Anger Bar


The mighty city was broken into three parts, and the cities of the nations fell. And God kept in mind mighty Babylon, to make her drain the cup of His furious wrath and indignation. Revelation 16: 19
 
These are the verses in the bible that talk about Anger, that's a lot of verses but there good verses to learn and memorize. Another thing I think about is WWJD "What Would Jesus Do" referring to what would he do or say in this situation your in? That's what you need to ask yourself, I do this myself as well at times, do I remember to do it no of course not but it is something that can also help.
 
I hope this can be helpful to you all
 
God Bless