Over the past several nights, I’ve had the opportunity to observe something I honestly never thought I would take the time to stop and watch so closely—a female Black Widow tending to her web and her egg sacs, while a much smaller male remained near the outer edges of the web.
I didn’t even realize until recently just how active Black Widows are at night. They hide during the day and become much more visible in their webs after dark. The female creates and maintains her irregular web, lays her eggs inside protective silk egg sacs, and remains near them, guarding them until they hatch. Egg sacs are commonly encountered during the warmer months, including late spring through fall.
And as I watched her, I couldn’t help but notice something beautiful about the symbolism I was seeing.
She wasn’t looking outward.
She wasn’t chasing anything.
She wasn’t leaving her web to see what someone else was doing.
She was tending to her web.
Her home.
Her own space.
Her responsibilities.
Her egg sacs.
Her next generation.
She was simply focused on what was directly in front of her.
And meanwhile, there was this tiny male Black Widow positioned toward the outskirts of the web.
Observing.
Watching.
And that image immediately became a deeply personal metaphor for me.
Spiritually speaking—not literally—I saw the female Black Widow as a representation of the Divine Feminine.
The Divine Feminine staying focused on herself.
Doing her inner work.
Healing.
Growing.
Tending to her own web.
Building her home within herself.
Nurturing what has been entrusted to her.
Not constantly looking outside of herself for answers.
Not chasing.
Not forcing.
Not trying to control the outcome.
Just… tending to what is hers to tend.
And in this metaphor, the male Black Widow became a representation of the Divine Masculine on the outskirts of the web, observing his Divine Feminine.
And that image struck me deeply because of what I’ve personally experienced on my own twin-flame journey.
When the Divine Feminine comes back to herself—when she stops chasing, stops forcing, stops trying to make something happen, and begins focusing on her own healing, her own growth, her own surrender—the Divine Masculine may still observe from a distance.
For me, that has looked metaphorically like watching from the outskirts… checking in through social media, observing, noticing, but not necessarily stepping directly into the center of the web.
And again, this is my spiritual interpretation and reflection—not a claim about what any particular person is thinking or doing.
But for those who have walked a twin-flame path, you may understand exactly what I mean.
And then something else happened.
I remembered the women’s conference I recently attended.
The teaching was called:
“When Choices Become a Tangled Web.”
And suddenly, the spider web became even more profound.
My notes from that teaching centered around Abram, Sarai, and Hagar.
God had made a promise to Abram and Sarai. But when the waiting became difficult, impatience entered the picture.
Instead of continuing to wait on God’s promise and God’s timing, they attempted to take matters into their own hands.
Sarai gave Hagar to Abram, and what followed became a tangled web of human choices, consequences, jealousy, hurt, and relational pain.
Genesis 16:1–6 tells that part of the story.
And what struck me most was this:
Impatience can become a choice.
Choices become actions.
Actions create consequences.
And consequences can become a tangled web.
Sometimes when something feels delayed, impossible, or like it isn’t happening the way we think it should, we become tempted to take control.
We start trying to manufacture the outcome.
We try to make things happen according to our timing instead of trusting God’s timing.
And eventually, what began as impatience can turn into jealousy, anger, heartbreak, betrayal, resentment, confusion, and pain.
That teaching became a mirror for me.
Especially when I look at my own experiences through the lens of my twin-flame journey.
The third-party situations.
The impatience.
The desire for answers.
The temptation to force a response.
The desire to know what someone else is doing.
The jealousy.
The heartbreak.
The hurt.
The feeling of betrayal.
The longing.
The frustration.
The moments when I wanted an outcome so badly that I could feel myself wanting to reach outside of myself and somehow make it happen.
And I realized that sometimes the greatest mirror isn’t showing me what someone else is doing.
It’s showing me where I still have work to do within myself.
That was one of the most profound parts of this teaching for me.
Because instead of asking, “What is the other person doing?”
I have to ask:
“What is God asking me to do?”
Instead of watching someone else’s web…
I need to tend to my own.
Instead of trying to control the outcome…
I need to surrender the outcome.
Instead of forcing an answer…
I need to become comfortable with waiting.
Instead of looking outward…
I need to come back home to myself.
And that is what this Black Widow became for me—a quiet, unexpected mirror.
She doesn’t appear to be concerned with what is happening outside of her web.
She’s tending to what is hers.
And perhaps that is the lesson I needed to see.
Tend to your web.
Tend to your healing.
Tend to your heart.
Tend to your relationship with God.
Tend to the life He has entrusted to you.
Let go of what you cannot control.
And trust Him with what you cannot see.
Because delay does not necessarily mean denial.
Sometimes waiting is not punishment.
Sometimes waiting is preparation.
Sometimes surrender comes in layers.
I have surrendered before.
But I’ve learned that there are different levels of surrender.
There is the surrender of the situation.
Then there is the surrender of the outcome.
Then there is the surrender of the timeline.
And eventually, there is the surrender of the need to understand how God is going to do what He promised.
That is where I am learning to rest.
My notes from the conference reminded me:
“When God is the center of our lives, other things fall into place.”
Job was another example discussed—the tangled web of his life, where so much was stripped away, yet he continued to turn toward God. God was not destroying Job; He was refining him.
Destroying vs. refining.
And that distinction has stayed with me.
Because sometimes God allows the tangled parts of us to be exposed—not to destroy us, but to rebuild us.
To refine us.
To reveal the places where fear has become control.
Where waiting has become impatience.
Where love has become attachment.
Where longing has become striving.
Where observation of someone else has taken my attention away from the work God is doing inside of me.
So tonight, while I watch this little Black Widow tend to her web, I find myself asking a very different question:
What if my assignment isn’t to figure out what is happening outside of my web?
What if my assignment is simply to tend to what God placed inside of mine?
To heal.
To grow.
To surrender.
To become.
To trust.
To wait.
To pray.
And to let God handle what I cannot.
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
Proverbs 3:5–6
And:
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
Philippians 4:13
Maybe sometimes God speaks through a sermon.
Sometimes through Scripture.
Sometimes through a women’s conference.
And sometimes…
He simply gets our attention through a spider web in the darkness.
🕷️🕸️
And for me, this one felt like a reminder:
Stop looking outside of the web.
Come back to yourself.
Tend to what God entrusted to you.
Surrender the outcome.
Trust the timing.
And let God weave the rest.
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